SERVES TWO, YOURSELF AND AN OAKLAND HIPPIE WITH A LOCKER FULL OF LEGUMES WHO AIN'T COMING OFF THEM RAISINS SO QUIT ASKING.
​
"So good you spill some on your face, your tongue'll beat ya to death" - Kimberly "The Widder" Hayden, over my Fried Baloney Salad, described by the lovely late Gena Bigler (whom an unnecessarily cruel auto-correct called "Hitler") "White Trash Pate'", also surmises this creation I dreamed up with the leavings from a week of deficient stock from canteen.
As Cajun Cook Justin Prudhomme would repeat to catchphrase nirvana, I gay-ron-tee the makings of this succulent supper are available at any Family Dollar with a decent grocery section, only yours won't have the inner-gate tariff designated to rape the purchasing population's families, friends, and "fags" (seriously, like every decent looking guy has a homosexual benefactor on the streets footing the bill and that's the common moniker).
As always, this is the PRISON way - you can role play, and have a bunch of loud-talkers over to slam dominoes on the table and fart while you eat inches away for maximum effect, or gussy-up the ingredients, using this as a mere blueprint. You do you, Honeypot.
​
Dice the Sausage Patties with a folded can lid. If you haven't one, I guess a knife will work. For pity's sake be careful: last time I used one, I caught 15 at 85%. Mix with jalapeños, and in small dish apropos for a four-egg omelet, fry in the microwave for 2.5 minutes, stirring at least once. In a separate bowl, mix the egg crystals, six TSPs water, 1/2 of Jalapeño Squeeze Cheese package, garlic to individual taste, mustard, and honey well. Add to sausage and peppers, and top with Italian blend. Incinerate for 1.25 minutes, or until omelet is firm but not overdone.
Mix Soup contents with Cream Cheese, Ranch, and 3 oz water. Blend thoroughly, then microwave 2.25 minutes. Divide omelet into two portions and cover in cheesy mushroom sauce.
​
Bone Apple Tits, all you Surrender Monkeys! xoxoxo Batmama
#omelettes, #eggdishes, #prisonrecipes, #prisonstories, #northpointtrainingcenter, #familydollar