I'm to understand you slobs out there have popularized the cuisine of prison inmates: Ramen. No shame from me, it's the backbone of prison culture. The "blow-up" is celebrated lock-down feasting fare. Too, cheap noodles are the building block of inmate commerce. This is my gastronomical contribution, and all who've indulged declared it ignunt and dope, and like everything else here its fast, frugal, and fun to make.
Chop onion* into bite-sized pieces. Place into a "fry-bag"** and add the sweeteners; shake vigorously. Fold the top of bag over, then microwave for 1:00, take it out, open, shake around, and replace in oven for another minute. Repeat until onion begins to brown. Set it aside with bag still folded until second part is completed.
The utility for frying my noodles is a "foot-tub" distributed by Medical services for soaking diabetic peddies. It's the same vessel as a restaurant bus-tub, straight-up. You can substitute with a big-assed bowl. Crush the noodles in the pack, then dump in your bowl adding two of the three flavor packs (mind your blood pressure, Holmes), and Garlic.
Put noodles in microwave for :40, stir thoroughly, repeat twice more, then add onions, tearing the bag open and scraping any bits that cooked down and stuck to it. Add 1 1/4 cups of water, and blue cheese pack to noodles and onion. Cover bowl with whatever's available leaving a narrow gap to release steam. Cook on High 1.5 minutes. Take out, stir, and put back into microwave for an additional 2 minutes uncovered. Allow the noodles to set about 5 minutes. Feeds two starving motherfuckers. Tip: chop up a summer-dog (beef summer sausage and put in fry-bag with your onions, then you can feed all three of you). Another Hint From Straight-To-Heloise: try this as a cold wrap with tuna, salmon, or mackerel.
*If you and your spouse/partner/conscious coupler wanna role-play "prison", chop the onion with a folded can-lid while one of you calls the other " trim", then the recipient of that title gets felated by the other and viciously threatened to secrecy.
**Fry-bag = used conveyance from microwave popcorn to cook meat and vegetables in.
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