Scooby-Don't!: Prison's Cruelest Punishment, and 'South Park's' Shark-Jump

Chapter Two

August 30th, 2026

My papa was rarely proud, maybe explaining him picking a shotgun over ham to eat for Easter dinner when I was 12. One time I know he was happened on a Saturday morning aged 9. During "Scooby-Doo" I switched to "The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show" on ABC to CBS, telling him all Hanna Barbara toons, even "Superfriends" (the comic adaptation was DOPE, and "Challenge" season with the Legion of Doom I can't hate on) garbage and from now on I would only do Warner Bros antiques. My old man got a gargantuan grin visible behind his head. Number one son learned discernment. Korean-crafted chinchiness to hawk cereal without any genuine comedy at all. Worse: people like to watch older versions "because they're so bad". That, Ein-steen, traps trash toons on Boomerang 18 hours a day. Vintage Tunes with perfect painstaking American animation scored by band leaders like Raymond Scott with timeless humor that ages with the viewer? Try earliest morning, drying up by noon for a retro cartoon channels nonstop unfunny Great Dane brain-dead blowjob.

As I dream of tasteful dictatorships, the bridge too far that'd get the lardasses off their Rascals to revolt would be yanking TV drivel. Particularly what in their heads keeps them perpetually 10, unencumbered by adulthood. Sad thing is, being 57 and constantly told how unlike that digit I am in all ways the biggest secret is riding change constantly. Everybody I know thats grasped youth like gold coin lost it forever and fast. Quit watching " The Goonies" or "The Breakfast Club" every weekend. If you are still pushing 50 without seeing "Fargo" or other amazing joints since worth seeing and speaking about, stop. There is no excitement hermit-ting in a graying head.

I'd be remiss talking cartoon longevity without "Rick and Morty" nor ,"South Park". If any show ideologically owes Homer its Adult Swim's masterwork entering my life finally after locked down life 11 years, hearing of it 9 of them. For qualifying that comment, let me remind you, Simpsons were wildly offensive to many including factions of my family and Bush, Sr. debuting at age 19 for me. That it was America's vulgar snapshot with a disrespectful elementary brat, obvious parental ennui, and disgust from all parties over suburban life period, relational sitcom molds turnt dust before its caustic gaze. Rick and Morty's DNA is that codex made to meet the moment with upgrades each generation slaps onto pioneers. Links connect Bugs and Homer to Rick with "Ren and Stimpy", another glorious 1990's moment adding the reinvented redeemed Hanna Barberra remembering they cut their teeth on classic MGM Tom and Jerry Oscar® grabbers, delivering "Dexter's Laboratory", "Powerpuff Girls", "Johnny Bravo", etc present. Then "South Park", who I'd crown king. Except now they're posers I won't watch anymore.

It breaks my heart to say the show I've likely laughed loudest at I'm past. Many reasons, though. Multiple seasons bashing wingnut behavior across America with the Trans-medical-activism complex granted slaps it earned with ladies sports, etc., and other ridiculous morays. SP's gig 100%. However, the president after an administration they left untouched and clearly treated like sacred cows - Biden and Harris - is eviscerated while the 2020-24 pack urged and supported those things aside from them being a propped corpse and an unqualified boozebag. Trey and Matt wussed, period. They are supposed to define the targets, not an audience they I guess fear. Safely binary while still trying to act like the badasses before, sad as Eminem doing the same, and showing how lame he actually was all along. Kicking it in the Black world with Honky cred doing what NO Man of Color does: disrespecting his mama. Over being a pillhead when his base = one Texas-sized dope-fiend. Anyone telling me Joe's Oval didn't merit pies on their faces from a bold comedy show is lying to me, themselves, or everybody. Saying this, I'm not arguing AGAINST their screwing Trump who begs assholing back, on a good day funny as fuck himself. We know Comedy Central and their base jerks off on bashing King Chee-To. SP built a brand on that network defiantly. Now they're hungry housecats without relevance. Central shows them about 800 hours a week, another reason I'm through. Honestly, I wonder if they're comfort cuisine now for lame outgrowths of Scooby-Doo stoners. Plus, the audience who built them never paid monthly premiums to Paramount+ to see exclusive episodes. Quoting Cartman: beat it, Jew.

Wrapping up, and diving further what makes the most difference is heart. Thoughtfulness shows in products, why I'm Looney not Doo, and even though I watch the occasional "Family Guy", and I have dug "The Cleveland Show" (my WRFL-FM homeboy Aaron Lee was an executive producer, moving to "Guy"), and more-so "American Dad", the difference arrived in an earlier season of the Yellow-skins with my late buddy Joe Turner (pal to Aaron Lee too) with guest voice Liz Taylor. Watching us alone because our chums were late, he recorded on clunky VHS so they could watch after. This ep revolved around Maggie's arrival, smashing Homer's bliss but love occurred at first sight of the speechless sib. Never could I forget the last scene with Homer J. tucking her in, walking away saying he hoped she never spoke, going bad on him like the rest. Closing the door, Mag yanks the pacifier from her mouth and unlike bad Bart using his given name from day one, Ms. Taylors voice softly delivers "daddy," just out of his earshot. Me and a 300 lb man's-man on the floor beside a black pleather sofa I laid on after the required bong hits didn't face each other a solid 5 minutes, wiping our soaked cheeks after 21 out of 22 minutes of the most irreverent, rowdy material for the early 1990's, with the fam erupting into fiendish laughter over putting Grandpa Simpson in the retirement home.

 "R+M" heads stratospheric with emotional/detached schismatics. One in 3 episodes has me ugly-crying or apoplectic at our race (humans not Honkies), with a Sociological lens through absurdist scapes unbelievably effective. Beth, Rick's tragic heroine daughter and her space-assassin clone de-age into 3rd grade mini-monsters torching affable neighbor Gene's house to cinders. This amazing episode dissects America with an alien crafting a theme park about Earth as horrid as the ethos it echoes while terrorist twins beat an elderly version their deadbeat dad aged instantly into. Telling the enraged tots releasing their demons how proud he is for beating him as it's himself, we see them recalling Rick as a handsome young man making mistakes but perfect through their eyes, freeing all three. Suddenly a lunatic show about the multiverse with Simpsons genes was so real I couldn't call if hitting daddy issue perfection had me bawling, or its genius ethical impetus. Guess there's no need for mutual exclusion. Same result with autistic kid Morty in the matrix surviving an Afghanistan-style war scenario so real I dodged, ducked, and maybe piled PTSD on.

Communicating how bad I can't wait to walk out those gates and not suffer TV voter-ship is impossible. Sad is when the escapism tool of the people is the worst thing to endure about the place we stick killers and molesters some days. Seriously, hanging with convicts is preferable to what some watch. Many might argue THAT'S entertainment.