Paradise Island Needs A Macy's

Chapter Three

ONE LAST STOP - PARADISE ISLAND

Another recent buy was "Fury", Volume 3 of Tom King's Wonder Woman turn. He to my mind does no wrong. This is the first time I sold off a piece of TK's, starring my starter superheroine sensation. I'll say this delicately - I find Princess Diana of Themiscryra boring as snot now. Sure the tale around her was just dandy, better than most, but it wasn't due to an enjoyable or fresh female character. Before I was locked away I led Facebook Wonder Woman groups, but after that my Jones got satisfied for the Amazon I longed for, wish Grant-ed in Earth 1. From there, I'm over it, except notably "Absolute" which is it's own magic.

Not a whisper of femininity creeps into a book that started by celebrating it. Wonder Girls all are attitude-bearing, butch, or (atmospherically) asexual, unlike prior presentations. Silver Swan is a sterling example of the fear here of offending somebody, a Puritan, I dunno: impetus for her is the unattractive girl becoming a deadly, beautiful sonic saboteur. Now, Vanessa Kappatellis looks like her whole body beneath mousy brown hair wears a back-brace. Oddly, Angle Man rocks a sexy topless look, the only hint of such. Mind you I'm not bitching about THAT, it's crazy though. Me, the gay guy would have Swan with platinum, feathered, face-framing coif, avian eye-makeup, a silver bikini, and immense wings befitting the moniker. Not gratuitous, it FITS the figure with artful variation joint lacked despite an amazing artist.

Canonically, I'll say it: I hate Wondy's dumb outfit to death. It has strangled that poor girl over 50 years. Superman and Batman? Minor changes and keep the course. Di is DIFFERENT. She's artful, insightful, and when a thoughtful writer like Phil Jimenez feels a need to insult her by deciding bad fashion sense is a character flaw, give it UP. Let her change. Don't modify, mutate, morph, none of it. Ditch the damn thing and all fans wanting to choke the growth out of this character, please get help. She looks RIDICULOUS in any permutation of the jingoistic 1940s invention, this coming from an unabashed patriot. Unlike Captain America, her appearance doesn't match her tale anymore, and stops it from moving. Adding lines and more metal doesn't make it cool, but puts her in a chastity belt. What comes next shouldn't have a star nor an eagle, but a clean break.

 "Diana Prince Is Wonder Woman" was almost amazing. Retooled with her as an agent of the Amazons decked in boss threads, handling awesome Amazonian weaponry, and beating bad-guy butts would be more refreshing than anything I've read in ages. One time I'd love seeing another crime-buster after handling a pack of goons or even Darkseid ask Di where she got her shoes/purse/outfit and WW grin back and say "Amazon". Get Mike Deodado, who DC forced to ruin his run with Artemis ridiculously with crap anatomy and ass-floss costuming redemption by drawing it like he did Avengers to perfection after he split going from a most despicable to desirable ink-stud.

  Essentially this is an issue of art, design, and fashion. Artists need to embrace the differences of females and adapt those into the books. Everybody would benefit from artists grabbing some fashion mags. Litter them around bullpens or studios when they create. They use models, so look at the outfits, not only what's in them, Dudesters. Check out influential designers to learn. It's OK for powerful players to exhibit visual grace, pizzazz, sensuality, and other shades. What we see too commonly are sci-fi fantasy equivalents to prairie skirts. All of this is for the goal most people want here - quality material with matching characters. There are wide chasms between chain mail and lingerie with stilettos besides jeans and Ts, and we're Jonesing to see them.